Sunday, 30 June 2013

Five. Cherry Blossom.

Five. Cherry Blossom.
It's spring.
Sun shines balmly, birds starts to chirp, cherry blossom flourished.
The melody of "Bom bom bom" (Cherry blossom in Korean) by Roy Kim waltzing in my flat on a Sunday morning brings back my memory with my very first boyfriend.

It was an unforgettable movie-like love experience which every girl would have dreamt of.
The dance at the ball. The late night chit-chats. The guitar he played. The constant run-intos pulled by the strings of destiny. The first kiss by the shore. The handmade bracelets. The songs he performed for me. The night journeys home. The anniversary phone calls surprise. The birthday candles surprise. And of course, the first break-up...
"我地係咪好襯呢?? 但既然當初因為一啲workout唔到/冇試過workout嘅問題而分開,, 縱使事隔多年,, 你有你的轉變我也有我的堅持. 復合也只是徒然. 啦" - Aug 24 '11.


Friends around me thought we would last long, and so did I. The 2 years of fantastical and dreamy relationship with him was so magical that our unexpected not happily ever after was quite a shock to me. How could one turn his back against you when he vowed his eternal love to you just 12 hours ago. It was then I started to lose faith in relationships. Words are just words pouring out from your mouth without trepassing your brain nor heart. "What are words worth?"

It was a blessing that my next boyfriend was patience enough to use more than a year to help me overcame this very trust issue of mine. I started to develop a concrete relationship with this high level of bank of trust with him for another 4 and a half years.

Every since then, my journey of love relationships have been like a roller coaster. I am starting to get immune with heart breakings and still carry a positive attitude towards relationships:

落紅不是無情物,化作春泥更護花”
龔自珍《已亥雜詩》
流水很清楚 惜花這個責任
真的身份不過送運
這趟旅行若算開心
亦是無負這一生
水點 蒸發變做白雲
花瓣 飄落下游生根
淡淡交會過 各不留下印
但是經歷過 最溫柔共震"
﹣ Eason Chan 落花流水 

As long as we had a good time, I will forever lock the wonderful memories we shared in the safe of my heart.
"祝我幸福快樂. 我愛過每一個 請保佑我:3"

My artwork
Cherry blossom (Oil painting, pencil on canvas)
To my beloved boys (Acrylic, marker on disposable palette)

My Cherry Blossom playlist
1. Bom Bom Bom (Spring) by Roy Kim
2. 落花流水 by Eason Chan
3. 給我愛過的男孩們 by Cass Pang 


CKL
June 30 '13

A side fact: I actually moved on from my first break-up within one night. No joke. The musical by HOCC suggested to me that you may now hold onto the memory and habit with one tight, but a week later, you may forget one's smell; a month later, you may forget one's number; a year later, you may just barely remember one's horoscope or even face. It has inspired me at that time that: I had a wonderful 2 years with this prince charming, why shall I waste any second of my life mourning the fact that he does not love me now when there are so many 2 years ahead of me? The possibility of sharing and embracing many more amazing 2 years with other boys/gents kept my hopes high and march on.